SPRING

A new day begins,
As the sun rises,
Peeking through the clouds,
Brightening a forest nearby.

The mighty winds blow,
The vast fields reply,
As if bowing to a master,
Of great repute and stature.

The morning mist clears,
Revealing a sea of colours,
Of lilies and jasmine,
To the delight of children nearby.

The changing seasons,
Brings forth a change,
As flowers bloom and amaze,
Even the hardest of heart.

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Shud be flipping the pages??

Lol...Da Lazy bug has arrived. I can't remember when I actually had to pore over my books to study. Yeahhh.. Yeahhh some of you guys out there might say that it was only 8 months ago.

8 months???


8 months!!!




8 freaking months!!!

8 months does seem dreadfully long for a student. How bout a medical student?? Awfully darn long or juz very longggggg.....LONGGGG???

It should be painstakingly, excruciatingly, annoyingly long till the point your neurons start degenerating and mould should soon start replacing them.

I don't think there will be another time I would be in such a blessed situation or an awfully bad situation?? But with exams juz around the corner. It seems that I have to get a cure for it. Yeap. Probably lazistatin, or studaolol :D

Got to get back into the study mood. Oh God get me back into the mood. Really out of sync with the papers and lecture notes with all those printed fonts and diagrams staring at me. Probably screaming "Read me!!! Read Me!!!" And essays?? They dun even have essays before in IMU. Now essays, and written in prose, not point form?? When was the last time I actually do that. Yup I remember my English exams.


Now its BMedSc Exams in abt less than 2 weeks time.



Tick Tock Tick Tock......

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Slow nesss.........Anxiety........ and Everything else....

I can't quite remember when I used to have so much time in my hands and got myself busy later. (Wat am I talking here???) Actually doing research is kind of like a whole new experience. When I started my research, I was like WOW!! I'm doing research and I'm going to get BmedSc. Ok NO BIG DEAL HERE!! But its great doing something different after flipping through thousands of lecture notes and pages of textbooks. (exaggerating)

And I was so convinced that I can finish my work on time, get blardy good results out of it and present my topics in seminar and conventions. This is my real dream. Somehow things changed halfway. First it was the Canticle Singers. Ok they didn't actually rob my weekdays away for research. They juz took 1 weekday and 1 weekend which I absolutely hate! I luv my weekends and if there was any better time to enjoy my weekends, it had better be now cos when next year comes, I would be busier than the most diligent bee of any bee hive. Comments and feedback from a senior don't actually paint a rosy picture.

8 weeks of a single rotation, and every day begins at about 8am till 5 pm. Everything is self-directed learning. As in literally self-directed. Back in those good ol' medical days when they say it was self-directed, Queensland seriously redefine it according to him and if you happen to take the kind of lepakking attitude like those dudes in Seremban where u can actually skip rounds in the morning, you'll be DEAD! Ok this din come out from my mouth but from this senior. Its challenging, tiring and he lost weight...3kgs Breaks in between is 1 week. Probably I'll get use to it.

Already digressing....

Back to the weekends. Seriously weekends have always been a time where I'll take some rest but that doesn't mean I absolutely not do anything. Going out with friends, lepakking was seriously gone for the past two months. Ok I guess in life sacrifices are meant to be made to achieve some good results. Singing with The Canticle Singers isn't a bad experience. It juz wasn't as enjoyable as in the previous group. LOL AJ, Aariye could be laughin at this. It did teach me quite a number of things on singing, technique, diction, pronunciation and connecting words all for the sake of singing in an ensemble which brings me to the point of singing.

Singing isn't as easy as I thought, Singing in a different environment does involve using different techiniques/methods to achieve a desired result. So if you were in an ensemble, its different in an a capella group except the solos of course. Style of singing differs for different genres. Ok this is quite obvious here!!

There's also something about breathing techniques, support, upper voice, mid voice and lower voice. Chest breathing and abdominal breathing are two separate entities. (U don't need to learn this in medical school. ) Abdominal breathing is used more frequently in singing. Chest Voice is more common among rockers. Chest voice ain't good for singing cos it thins the voice, strains your vocal cords and less power.

The one great guru, who has thought me quite a lot on singing techinques is Doreen Tang. Huh???? You might know who she is....

Doreen Tang was roped in for another one of my wrongly occupied schedule for the year, SPEX. But really now, I don't regret it. I can do a recording and I have a solo...WOOHOO!!! Its an abbreviation for Spiritual Exercise of Saint Ignatius of Loyola. SPEX again met to practice for another performance similar to the one they did last year. But this year, the committee decide they should make an album. Doreen Tang has performed for Broadway Parodieslah, M The Opera! and will perform in the upcoming, Tunku: The Musical. Having her in SPEX was really like a breath of fresh air for everyone. She told us everything about singing, voice colour, tone, projection, head voice, abdominal breathing, chest breathing, breathing exercises all through the 6 weeks with us. Probably the most unusual of all is the breathing exercises which is to basically open up your abdominal cavity to sing. She corrected all our breathing technique including mine which was WRONG. In fact everyone was wrong except for maybe Francesca Peters who's already a seasoned performer and singer

Now that this experience has kind of passed except for SPEX, I'm sick worried of my research.

With barely 3 months to go, I have to complete everything before my presentation. I have no idea what happened to my dream. Seems like it all disappeared in another bad dream. I actually expected something groundbreaking, earth-shattering, thunder-clapping results from my research. But somehow, MCF7 cells are resistant to the anticancer actions of [6]-Gingerol and Zingerone. Right now, I think I should be playing Linkin Park's "What I've done".... Probably at the bridge where the song really climaxes.

Linkin Park's "What I've done"

....
..

"For what I’ve done
I start again
........"

...

Really hoping and praying for good results from my research. Hopefully changing cell lines will get me some positive results. Or else, my research would be another research article for the "Journal of Negative Findings." Negative Findings aren't accepted widely even amongst the scientific community. But really how will you get positive results if you don't know what gives you negative results????

Actually, I really need to pick up the pace. It seems now everything's so slowwwww.....K need to think of fast and quality results from now on.

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Juz some random quiz..

I've always thought myself of some sort of a left-hander. Hmm, turned out I'm a right hander now. Not sure who rewired me. Could be my parents or just the environment or GOD himself....

So decided to do this random quiz stolen from Alex's blog.

You Are 35% Left Brained, 65% Right Brained

The left side of your brain controls verbal ability, attention to detail, and reasoning. Left brained people are good at communication and persuading others. If you're left brained, you are likely good at math and logic. Your left brain prefers dogs, reading, and quiet. The right side of your brain is all about creativity and flexibility. Daring and intuitive, right brained people see the world in their unique way. If you're right brained, you likely have a talent for creative writing and art. Your right brain prefers day dreaming, philosophy, and sports.

Are You Right or Left Brained?

A right brainer which equals a left-hander by right...Theoretically or even medically speaking.
But the brain's more complicated then logic itself. A right brainer doesn't mean you end up being a left-hander.

MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

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I think its way too late for me.

In my next issue of whining, about something. I know, I HAVE NEVER whine in my blog for the record but I had to get this off my system. It's pestering me like a blardy freaking splinter on my nail or more like a thorn in my brain.

This is a totally unrelated matter to the previous post. Yeah, people don't usually whine on their blogs. But wat the heck blogs are meant to be some form of medium to channel your thoughts, opinions, happenings and your life. It's more of wat you want to blog about. Not something that is wrong or right to me. More like a freedom of choice but, done with care and responsibility(if you know wat i mean...)

Yeah, this is something which I also kind of regret but I feel that this is going to affect me a blardy blardy blardy long time. Some people think I'm just weird that I'm like that. Not NORMAL were some of their comments. Some think I'm part of a different group. Some call it a minority group but trust me I'M NOT part of it.

Maybe it's juz being typical Bryan Wong. Maybe it's how life has treated me. Trust me life's experiences have barely supported me on this matter and it has never been kind considering the recent sequences of events which has totally blew me away. Till this day, I still can't grasp the entirety of this most misfortune event. I have always been sceptical about this issue despite all the millions of advice people has given to me, "Why don't you try??" "What's wrong with it?" I will politely say "NAh.., not ready" "It's not time.... yet" or the famous and safest answer would be "I dunno..." It might sound like I'm perfectly fine with those kind of questions but really if I was brazen enough I will say this with utmost clarity, "Cos I don't want to laa... For what?? Life's better without it. It only leads to problems." but this is what I do when the voice in my head when it says, "Hey dude I think you should do something about it..."

I've never believe in it nor dwell in it but despite being very firm and adamant in my beliefs, I guess life could have a funny way of changing your stand and believes. I just don't see it yet. Part of me wants it and the other part of me thinks it's just something you can live without, a disturbance, a total annoyance and a total incarceration of your own freedom. It's strange that as much as I don't want something, the more it pops up in my mind. Probably it's a sign I should do something. But still, I don't see any reason to explore this treacherous path.

Until then, this bunch of rhetorical riddles may have baffled some of you, but my suggestion is that you should just forget what you've read. Cos when someone runs out of ideas to blog, all sorts of junk starts coming out. Ahem, not all of my "no-ideas-post" are that boring either!!!

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The road taken was the wrong road???

I think I've gotten myself in a freaking mess. A mess of sorts which won't be corrected unless I made a radical decision which could not be good for me. Now that I'm already involve with this and that, I really wander why I make that decision. I should not have said yes when I knew the opportunity was already there and it was already such a good experience. Maybe I'm just lost, searching for the right path. Now it just reminds me of "The road not taken" by Robert Frost.

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth.

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same.

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Robert Frost

Did I take the right road down, Was it the right path?? Probably it was the road which wanted wear and needed passing, but still I'm not sure. Could this be really the right choice. The choices I have made have given me such a big headache, that I just wish that I didn't have to make them at all. I would have less worries, I would have enjoyed myself better, I would have felt better if I've sticked to the "NO" instead of the "YES". Too bad, people have been too persuasive and have sort of lured me into something which has now caused me big problems to solve.. SIGH. Guess, this is just some 101 lessons in life about decision making.

Now that I'm in a state of dilemma, I really hope that this would have benefited me in the way I deserve and hopefully make the difference cos if not drastic measures have to be taken.



Sigh...........

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