Just yesterday i was looking at some articles on the newspaper, then i stumble on some article on friendship and coincidentally later during that day, one of my friend was blogging on friendship. So i began to think about my friends that i have made throughout my life. About the people i knew, how close was i to them, how some of them hurt me, treat me good, accompany me and blah blah blah... I could go on, but just how many of them can you actually cling on and still talk to them on just about anything even when you have not met them after a long time, meaning best friends.
Honestly for me a few....i can actually count them with my fingers just on one side of the hand. I do not need to go into the details cos thats not the point here. What matters more, is the process of being a friend of another from the beginning to the end. Whenever we meet someone, it almost always begins with an introduction like "Hi...How are you?...Fine Tq...How bout you..." We all can do introductions with anybody...But how good are we in continuing the conversation. For me, this depends on many variables, some of them within our control and some of them out of our control. The ones that we cannot control, include making the person feel how you want to them to feel like making feel good around you... Yup this is pretty superficial cos it can be manipulated to suit our needs, that is to make someone like you forcefully but not in an authentic way...to put it plainly, a one sided relationship. Others, include the person in a bad mood, an off day all this grouped into someone we havent already know yet. Yes, to find a common ground in everything to share with is rare..actually frankly speaking impossible, cause there are never two persons with the same personality.
But, 2 or 3 of something to talk about that both parties know quite well about is a rather good start to an acquaintance whom we not so know very well or someone new, could blossom into a new friendship. After many years of experiences with friendship, having a "birds of a feather flock together" isnt the only element that will bind to people together. Understanding of ones troubles and sharing of each others excitement or experiences brings out a more intimate side of one another, and hence a more meaningful friendship. But...
Where are there when we need them when we are always there for them?? And there are others who just cant be bothered even if their friend has any trouble. Its like its your business kind of thing... i dun want to interfere cos i dun wan to complicate matters. And then we are all left alone wandering who to go to when our friends are not there for us and family is our next option. Like i said earlier friends being not there when we need them the most. So far in my entire life..only few could bear with all the troubles i face, but even so not all of them, maybe they are busy, got more important things to catch up with....but the point is...This is not an ideal world, where ideals like true friendship cannot exist.
When i say i'm a friend of someone, i ask myself is it hi.....bye friend, or "meet only talk friend" or "when free only talk to you friend"( who always seems to be too preoccupied with their stuff) or someone you see everyday...but hardly talk to them and tell others..."Oh this friend of mine....blah blah " or really good friend as in anything goes no matter how long we have not seen each other or how different we are. It takes a lot of courage to say you are a friend of someone, or is it?? Its blissful to tell others that we know so many people, but in actual fact...some of them just dun reply your greeting even when acquainting the friend....or just stare at you in the face and you begin to wander is there something wrong with your face or probably the friend heard you "spoke greek" instead of speaking English.
Whenever I meet with this type of people... I just dun care about them...you know just turn your head away, or pretend that they are not there...or forcefully try to start a conversation when they needed help, the result.... a relationship revolving on the memory on how i know this person because he help me with this or that.....
Now i've gotten use to them and only say HI...when there say hi..otherwise... can't be bothered. It's only then i realise how this world has become inundated with people who only care for themselves and how few best friends there are...Friends come and go and some stay with you for a long time until the day you die...But really, this has somehow put into perspective the quote "NO ONE CAN HELP YOU BUT YOURSELF". A concoction of words by someone, i forgot but certainly very recently judging from the way the world has now become...
As for how I am dealing with friends I'm having now. Ill just have fun with them, laugh together, have joy together and as for those who I'm confortable with..Ill continue my friendship with them. As always, friendship take time and much nurturing. If somehow in time, they become no more than acquaintances, it's ok for me. Frinedships come and go and Ill move on. It's difficult to maintain really long lasting friendship in this fast paced and instant results world. Ill just go on and make more Friends.......
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